


How Do You and Whisk

by annewithane



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Babies, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 14:07:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3070952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annewithane/pseuds/annewithane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>killbillvol2 prompt:</p><p>Eleanor accidentally impregnates both Louis and Harry one night....</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Do You and Whisk

Eleanor was mildly tipsy. It was Jay’s wedding night. She hadn't explicitly said that Eleanor herself was the maid of honour but Eleanor knew that she was the maid of honour.

Eleanor had spent the entire reception chewing on bread and watching Lottie try to make out with Harry Styles. Who looked really hot. Enough so to fuck.

Louis has spent the night alternating between their table, their table because he said ‘next to you’ when Eleanor asked him where he wanted to sit, and to the Yorkshire tea truck to take Yorkshire tea shots. He was not tipsy like Eleanor, he was wasted. He also asked Eleanor 27 times if it was a condom that was in Harry’s pocket.

Eleanor watched when Louis asked Harry to dance and he spent the entire song, Sweet Disposition, trying to get into Harry’s pocket. Louis failed much like he failed to hide his boner. 

Louis came back sad and disappointed to the table Eleanor was sitting at while Harry went to find a baby.

“Did you find out?” Eleanor indulges her stupid ass boyfriend. 

“No, but knowing Harry it is a condom.” Louis says to his girlfriend Eleanor while starting to cry because his partner in crime was camping. 

“Ten dollars he was hoping he would shove it in Sophia.” Eleanor giggles like an angle. 

Louis thought that was fucking stupid, “that's fucking stupid.” He tells Eleanor who is next to him, even though they were told they could not sit together. Louis secretly thought the condom might be so Harry could stuff his dick in Louis ass.

While Louis was deep in thought about Harry being deep in his ass, Harry came and asked Eleanor to dance. They danced to Friends by Ed Sheeran. Fitting.

Immediately after the song ended Eleanor reached into Harry’s pocket and out came a condom.

“I knew it!” Louis screamed from his table. He had obviously been watching Eleanor and Harry dancing the whole song while his blue pants got tighter in the front, causing a dilemma because he had asked for tight pants to begin with to show off his ass. He was thoroughly succeeding in that.

Harry immediately turned bright red. Eleanor hoped that was the colour of his cock. The one he was going to put the condom on and shove up her ass.

Louis grabbed Harry and Eleanor from the dance floor and shoved them into the Yorkshire tea truck.

“What are you tying to play Harry?” Louis questions Harry while backing him farther into the tea dispenser so his back is pressed firmly against it. 

Harry is frozen in spot. With his mouth wide open. Eleanor is watching the scene from behind Louis.

“Do up your fucking shirt Harry.” Louis says to Harry. Because Harry clearly doesn't know Louis as well as Eleanor, he probably thinks Louis is mad. Eleanor, however, knows that Louis is in love with Harry’s four nipples. Most likely because they have Eleanor’s face on them. All four of them. So he is just horny.

Harry fumbles on his buttons. This is what angers Louis. So much so that he rips Harry's shirt off his body exposing his tattooed nipples. 

Harry is so surprised by this. So he screams “boyfriend!” Or “waitress!” Eleanor can't understand Harry because he is from Cheshire and Eleanor is not. One thing is for sure is that he has a Cheshire Cat smile and it calms Eleanor’s fears. 

After this Harry pulls Louis into his arms. Eleanor knows what is going to happen next. Both Louis and Harry are extremely hard so it was not hard to guess. They kiss but a potato is blocking Eleanor’s way. 

“Bread.” Eleanor screams. Louis and Harry break from the kiss to look into her ears that Eleanor are sure to being looking like bread.

Eleanor rips Harry ugly fucker of a scarf from his neck and tells the boys to strip. Because Harry and Louis are whipped on Eleanor's clitoris, they obey. Eleanor ties the two boys together by the hip on the floor so that they are sitting with their legs crossed and tangled together with their loaded cocks only an inch away from each other. 

“Oh no,” Eleanor says, “there seems to be a clash. Rock, paper, scissors.” Eleanor commands.

“I'll scissor you Eleanor.” Harry smiles at her.

Louis pokes Harry's dimples, “you did that shit.” And he repeats it again after he beats Harry at Rock, paper scissors. “I did that good.” 

Eleanor doesn't need prep because Stan and Bobby already finger her in the toilets while getting each other off only by the sounds of their voices. She just sits down facing Louis and takes Louis in her vagina and Harry in her ass hole. 

“Eleanor, oh fuck.” Harry says. Eleanor smirks because she thinks Stan and Bobby are indirectly touching Harry's penis. 

“Be my mom.” Louis yells. Exactly when there is a knock at the door. It's his real mom.

“Harry, have you met Keith Tomlinson yet?” Jay says from outside the van. 

“Daddy.” Harry says.

“Um no Louis’ step dads daddy.” Jay says in a confused tone of voice. Not one can blame her because She thought Harry was calling Louis’ grandfather daddy, when he actually meant Louis himself. 

“Yes Jay, he sends me hate mail on twitters all the time.” he regains his control. Which he previously had none of. He had no control. “I've met him.” And that is all it takes for him to loose control. 

Eleanor is no longer moving. Louis and Harry are bucking up into her. Eleanor wonders if they can feel each others cocks inside of her. That thought makes Eleanor come three times. 

Eleanor switches positions and now Harry is in her vagina and Louis is in her ass. Eleanor is bored eventually and then untied Louis and Harry's hips and ties their cocks together. Eleanor shoves Yorkshire tea into their ass holes until they come together and spill all over Harry’s scarf. RIP. But not really, Eleanor knows Harry will where the semen scarf again. Harry and Louis fall asleep with their dicks tied together and Eleanor falls asleep with her head next to their dicks. 

~

“Eleanor.”

“Eleanor.”

Eleanor opens her eyes to see Louis and Harry standing above her. “WHAT THE FUCK CALDERHOLIC?”

Harry and Louis look confused and Eleanor continues to think they are confused when Harry opens his mouth, “what?”

“Eleanor,” Louis continues not waiting for an answer. “We are pregnant.” 

~

And they weren't kidding. Harry and Louis’ stomachs both grow. The fans start to notice. Taylor Swift starts to notice. And Zayn notices when Louis refuses to suck on a joint with him. Lottie moves on to Niall. And Louis and Harry often throw up together. 

Eventually the boys confront Harry and Louis about their babies.

“It's true Lima, we are pregnant.” Harry says, while baking bread. Probably because he was a baker.

“Even as young as you are?” Niall asks.

Harry looks up from his bread to Louis on the chair near by. When he does, Louis is looking back at him. Harry sees his blue eyes and sees a pool, if they were deeper maybe an ocean. Louis sees vomit in Harry's eyes. He sees the mornings they have woken up together to vomit together, always together. Louis smiles. Bread. It reminds him of the night. When he was impregnated by Eleanor who is sitting beside him. 

“What the fuck Niall. We didn't plan this.” Louis says before the fireworks start. 

“Oh.” 

~

Louis and Harry grow bigger and Eleanor cries more often.

~

The night comes eventually. The three of them are sitting on the couch watching Love Actually when Eleanor feels herself getting wet. 

“Guys, I'm wet.” 

Harry immediately gets on his knees and starts taking Eleanor’s pants off, presumably to suck on her clit. 

“No you fucker.” And that's when Harry looks down at the spot that he just got off of. It is wet and he realizes that his water broke.

Louis realizes at the same time so has his and at the same time, they scream.

~

Hours later, Louis and Harry are facing each other in a hospital room and both sweating like they just had hard sex but they haven't, they are having babies.

“I love you babe.” Harry says.

“Harry shut the fuck up. It's not your baby.” Louis screams in agony he can feel the baby coming out from somewhere near his penis. 

“No, Louis you’re my baby. Let's do this together Louis.” Eleanor is in the floor in the middle of them making tea and putting her tea in first like a dildo would. 

“Harry I'm going to cut your tongue out.” Harry doesn't mind though, he knows it's the hormones talking. 

Suddenly Eleanor can see the babies coming out of Harry and Louis. Out of their penises. 

“Push for me baby.” Harry says. 

Louis throws a plant at Harry after jacking it off.

And suddenly the room explodes with baby crying. 

“It's a girl!” The nurse tells Harry. 

“It's a boy!” The nurse tells Louis.

“Do you guys have any names planned out?” The nurse looks from Harry to Louis and from Louis to Harry.

“I think I will name my daughter whisk.” Harry says to the nurse. 

“I'm naming my son How Do You.” Louis says without lifting his head from staring at his son. 

Eleanor thinks about bread.

~

The week that follows the birth is New Years. Louis and Harry usually throw a New Years even party, but with the new born babies they decide not to. Instead Eleanor, Louis, and Harry all watch Love Actually again. 

Halfway through the movie Harry presses pause. 

“Harry-” Louis tries to begin telling Harry off. 

“We can't do this.” He looks very sad, so much so that Eleanor starts crying. “We can never see each other again.” Eleanor nods her head, she understands. 

Louis seems to understand because he stands up and walks out the door. 

Harry was the first one to starts a fight.

Harry was the first one to fall asleep at night.

Harry was the last one to drive away. Because He had car troubles.

If only that had made any promises.

~

Ten years later , How Do You and Whisk meet again in a cooking class.


End file.
